Anonymity and Crime

Have you ever lived in a small village where all the residents know each other? I don't think there are many places left in England quite like this, but there may be some. Stay in one of these villages long enough and mingle with the local community and you may notice what I have: you feel safe, crime is low and antisocial behaviour is rare.

There are many explanations offered for crime and antisocial behaviour. Immigration, unemployment, deprivation and population density are all discussed, and some of these things may matter to varying degrees. But I wonder whether we overlook something much simpler: anonymity.

Behave badly or engage in violence towards others in a small community and everybody will know about it. The next time you walk down the street, you'll have to face people who know what you did. You cannot simply disappear into the crowd. Your behaviour follows you, and with recognition comes accountability.

People committing crimes generally have a very good reason not to be recognised. That's why someone intending to commit an offence may cover their face or wear clothing that makes them difficult to identify. They don't want to be seen, they don't want to be recognised and, ultimately, they don't want the behaviour attached to them. They don't want to be accountable.

These days, it's very easy to be anonymous, particularly in towns and cities where we can pass hundreds of people without knowing any of them. But what really started me thinking about anonymity was the behaviour I see every day on the internet, YouTube most of all.

It's very easy to set up an online account and hide your real identity. That anonymity means that what you say need not follow you back into your everyday life. You can unload malicious hatred on somebody you have never met and, in many cases, take little or no personal responsibility for it. Perhaps unsurprisingly, some of the most appalling comments we see online come from people who reveal almost nothing about who they actually are.

The conclusion I have reached is a simple one: remove some of the anonymity from our social spaces and we might all be better off. When people know who we are, we are accountable for how we behave. Our actions follow us.

One last thought. Perhaps this also helps to explain why some of us behave worse behind the wheel of a car than we ever would walking down the street. Inside a car, surrounded by strangers we are unlikely ever to see again, we can shout, swear, gesture, intimidate and drive aggressively, then simply disappear down the road. We can get away with it.

Perhaps anonymity doesn't make people behave badly. Perhaps it simply makes it easier for them to do so without having to face the people who saw them do it.

Why I Switched from Google Pixel to Samsung Galaxy S23 (And Why I’m Not Looking Back)

I’ve been a Google Pixel user for years. As someone who relies heavily on Google services—Gmail, Drive, Photos, Calendar—the Pixel always felt like the natural fit. It promised seamless integration, a clean Android experience, and all the latest updates straight from Google. For a long time, it really did make my life easier.

But over time, cracks started to appear in the experience. And after sticking with Pixel for “just one more year” too many, I finally made the decision to switch. Now that I’ve moved to the Samsung Galaxy S23, I can confidently say: I wish I’d done it sooner.

Here’s why.

The Breaking Point: Pixel’s Hardware Frustrations

For me, the Pixel started to feel more like a beta test device than a daily driver. The most frustrating issues weren’t about performance benchmarks or camera specs—they were about basic reliability.

The Fingerprint Sensor That Wouldn’t Work

Unlocking my phone became a daily hassle. The Pixel’s fingerprint sensor was so unreliable, I’d often have to try multiple times, reposition my thumb, or wipe the screen just to get in. For something that should be instant, it was anything but.

Swipe Issues and Screen Responsiveness

Another consistent problem was the screen swipe gesture system. It’s such a fundamental part of modern smartphones, yet on the Pixel it often felt buggy or laggy. Swiping up to go home, switching apps, or even simple scrolling sometimes stuttered or misfired. For a device I interact with all day, that’s simply unacceptable.

These issues persisted across multiple Pixel models and software updates. Eventually, I had to admit: the Pixel experience wasn’t living up to the promise anymore.

Why I Chose the Samsung Galaxy S23

After much thought, I decided to try something different and picked up the Samsung Galaxy S23. To my surprise, the transition has been smoother than expected—and in some ways, genuinely refreshing.

Pros of the Galaxy S23

Fingerprint Sensor That Works Properly

I can’t stress enough how much of a relief this is. With the Galaxy S23, unlocking my phone is quick, accurate, and consistent. No more awkward thumb gymnastics.

Fluid, Responsive Interface

Navigating the S23 is a pleasure. Swipes, gestures, and scrolling feel smooth and polished—like the Pixel used to in its prime.

Premium Build Quality

From the display to the haptics, everything about the S23 feels premium. Samsung has clearly nailed the hardware side of things.

Strong Performance and Battery Life

The phone runs effortlessly with no lag, and the battery comfortably lasts through the day without anxiety.

What I Miss About the Pixel

Switching to the Galaxy S23 hasn’t been perfect. There are definitely a few things I miss about the Pixel experience:

Google’s Seamless Password Management

On the Pixel, when logging into websites, Google would automatically suggest saved passwords from my account. It was simple, automatic, and felt like magic. The Galaxy S23 doesn’t integrate with Google Password Manager the same way, and while Samsung offers Samsung Pass, it’s not as seamless for someone fully invested in Google’s ecosystem.

Stock Android Simplicity

Samsung’s One UI is cleaner than it used to be, but it’s still not the minimalist Android experience you get on Pixel devices. There are extra apps, settings, and features that can feel a bit cluttered if you’re used to Google’s streamlined approach.

Pixel-Exclusive Features

Things like Call Screening, Hold for Me, and Google’s Recorder with live transcription are features I used and now miss. These AI-powered tools really did add value in daily life.

Final Thoughts: The Trade-Off Was Worth It

At the end of the day, no phone is perfect. But for me, the Galaxy S23 has solved the core frustrations that pushed me away from the Pixel—especially around reliability and daily usability.

Yes, I miss some of the Pixel’s exclusive features and Google’s tighter software integration. But those are trade-offs I’m willing to make for a phone that works consistently and doesn’t leave me second-guessing simple interactions like unlocking my device or swiping through apps.

I still think Google has potential to make the Pixel great again. Maybe in the future, I’ll revisit it. But for now, I’m happy with the switch, and the Galaxy S23 is proving to be exactly what I needed: a phone that just works, all the time. 

Speed Learning Guitar

Practising the guitar is all about getting better at it. Repetition is necessary but repeat too much and progress can stop, as I found out. 

Learning how to learn is probably the most useful thing I have ever learned. Speed learning guitar doesn't take hours per day, it takes only minutes per day

I remember noticing the difference between types of practice I was doing. One day learning something brand new and another day refining and improving something that I had learned before.

Since the key to speed learning is constantly challenging yourself, learning something new is easy because it's usually difficult at the beginning and that really concentrates the brain. But when it comes to 'refining' something - and by refining I mean making it sound better, faster, improving it - I had to work out how to practice the same thing over and over without getting bored or relying on muscle memory. That's what really transformed my sessions.

Design and Redesign your practise sessions

I literally wasted years believing that simple repetition would lead to improvement. It didn't! I remember almost falling asleep during one practice session while I went over and over the same scale again and again. I guess I used to think that just by practicing for longer, I would automatically improve. 

So it wasn't until I began to work out how to identify when muscle memory takes over and dynamically changed my routines accordingly, that I began to speed learn again.  I knew it was important to repeat to learn, but I just couldn't keep my focus while doing the exact same thing over and over.

What I learned in those years is that the amount of time you spend practicing, won't necessarily reflect the in the results you get.

I knew that my practice sessions had to become dynamic and adaptive. As I improved I had to change things, not just lazily repeat.

It isn't how long you spend doing it, it's how you do it. 

So how did I do it?

I wanted to find new ways to practice the same thing over and over while maintaining the same level of concentration I had when I learned something brand new.

I started by using my metronome to increase the difficulty level. For example, I would play a phrase in quarter notes, then switch to eighth note triplets, then switch to 16th notes, all within a minute of practicing.

Now I had to focus on the timing changes and that meant concentration.

Then I started to notice that when I practiced a scale or lead phrase, that I always played it the same way. For example, I would always start on a down pick stroke and use alternate picking.

When I tried to switch to starting on an upstroke instead, it became much more difficult – especially as  would speed up the metronome. So I incorporated this as a technique to re-focus myself, just like I’d done when changing the timing against a metronome click.

When I started doing this for all the phrases and scales I thought were easy, they became difficult again. So I went back over all of them using this pick stroke modification to make them difficult.

 It didn’t take long before I could play everything faster with a lot more accuracy. My timing was improving and so was my left-right hand coordination.

I hadn’t been specifically practicing to play faster, but that was the result I was getting.

Nowadays I use a lot of similar techniques to keep my improvement constant. One of my favorites and most effective is taking the musical phrase out of context and completely changing the timing of it. I will keep doing that until I run out of ways to change it. It’s bit like learning to draw portraits by drawing them upside down so the image becomes completely unfamiliar and you can’t rely on your facial pattern memory to help.

By the time I get back to playing the phrase the original way, I find it easy because I have learned to play it upside down, back to front and sideways - so to speak.

I also use a lot of legato phrasing as a technique to re-introduce difficulty. Anything works really, I just have to make sure I don't get bored.

Any questions?

Dear Lloyds Bank

Dear Sir, I'll keep this short and succinct as I know you're very busy.

When I borrow money from you , you charge me quite a lot. I don't charge you anything at all for borrowing my savings to make yourselves more money. 

I have been testing a reputable internet bank for some time now who don't charge me anything for their services. I suppose this is because they appreciate being able to use my savings to make themselves enough money. 

They also pay me much more interest on my savings than you do. 

I don't know about you, but I think it's time to move all my savings to this new bank. 

P.s. the old people like me who still think you are a good place to keep their money , won't be around for much longer. Perhaps it's time to consider a change in your game plan. But it's probably too late for you anyway. 

Why I quit my morning coffee

16 years ago, I decided to become a fully fledged classical guitarist. This tall order would need a daily practice committment of at least 2 hours per day . 

The only thing standing in my way was a  full-time 9 to 5 job, so the only way forward was get up ridiculously early and practise guitar before I began work at 9am.

I really struggled to wake up quickly and get the most out of this two hours, so decided coffee was the answer. Actually a 

very, very strong tripless espresso, that woke me up and put me straight into study focus.

Three days ago I stopped drinking that early morning coffee. I'd heard a podcast explaining what microbiologists had discovered about the early morning caffeine kick start does to the body. It turns out that the severe caffeine crash I'd been having every afternoon could be avoided, simply by not drinking my coffee immediately after waking up. This would  allow the body time to kick start all the necessary metabolic processes that keep us going all day. I'd been sabotaging mine for 16 years and in the last year or two, I'd put my afternoon slump down to circumstantial factors beyond my control. I was wrong. It was indeed the coffee crash - deep and dark , just like my morning brew! 

What an incredible difference in the way I feel. My afternoons are transformed by recovery of the motivation and optimism that usually started my day. Almost immediately after stopping the caffeine kick start fix, I am energised for longer , many hours longer and feel good all afternoon.  I wish I'd quit years ago, I really do. 

I still drink coffee , but not in the morning, not any more. 

I'm in a pickle

Today I find myself living as I often have , without any security and barely enough income to pay my way. 

I am living with my girlfriend of 3 years and for the first time in over 20 years I have a home and a life that Im trying hard to belong to. For the first time I have the prospect of some security, but that security depends upon my ability to adapt to the kind of life I never thought I could bear. 

For as long as I can be the man I need to be, my home is home. If this relationship doesn't work out, I will lose my home and my security. 

I've never before been concerned about my security my future or even having a home. I've just embraced a way of life that has lead me safely through decades living in other people's houses and spare rooms. 

I want to make this work, I'm trying the best I can. I like this life and this home , but this home belongs to my partner. If we split up she keeps her home and I hit the road. I don't know exactly why this frightens me, but it does. Sooner or later I suppose I will mess this up. I guess I don't believe I have what it takes to cohabit with a significant other. It just doesn't seem possible, at least not for me. 

Can I really make her happy? How much of myself has to change for that to achievable? Why do I suddenly fear going back to the way of life I lived before? Perhaps I'm worried about getting old or dying alone? Maybe I've actually found the person who I truly love and want to spend the rest of my days with? 

I probably just need to man up and accept the risks, forget the what ifs and learn to ignore all the self doubt. Noone said it was supposed to be easy. 

How Therapy has Helped Me

It takes time to change our own unconscious behaviours. But the first step is always recognising the need to change and accepting that it wont happen overnight.

I began looking for therapy in my mid 30s when I found myself struggling to cope in certain social situations while working as a professional musician.  Despite my initial scepticism the results that followed 6 weeks of hypnotherapy were life changing. But this was only the start of a journey of self discovery and liberation that would carry on for the next 20 years.

During that time I've learned to identify my negative behaviour triggers and change personal dogma, by revisiting the most significant life events that have influenced my subconscious beliefs and conscious mind choices.

For most of my adult life I've thought myself to be fiercely independent without fully understanding why that meant so much to me. My attitude toward being controlled, underestimated or coerced, often triggered a strong, disproportionate and sometimes aggressive reaction. I'd learned to live with my inability to trust or commit fully in significant other relationships, believing that it was a mistake to rely on my partner and that ultimately, I was far  better off alone. 

Through hypnotherapy I've discovered 4 life experiences that were traumatic or significant enough to spawn these self defeating adult mindsets. 

The following 4 life experiences were identified during my therapy sessions as being most likely responsible for these self defeating beliefs and behaviours. I'll briefly explain what happened and how I felt for each experience, having revisited them in detail under hypnosis. 

Of course, these are my personal recollections and my personal truths. It all happened long ago and all I have left are my memories and interpretations of what actually happened. 

1. Running for my life at 7

I was 7 years old when I was chased across a field by a boy I believed to be capable of murder. I felt terrified, like I was running for my life. I found refuge in the empty school corridoors and must have blacked out from sheer panic somewhere along them. I've never been so frightened before or since. 

I woke up in a strangers house wondering where my mum was. I found out later that the school informed my mum that I'd been sent home with sun stroke. No-one ever spoke to me about it or asked me what had happened that day.

 

2. Afraid to die at 8

The first time I realized that I suffered from asthma was when at age 20 my girlfriend's mum saw me struggling to breathe and handed me a ventolin inhaler, assuming I'd forgotten mine. I'd never seen one before and it felt miraculous using it for the first time. But as a younger child my undiagnosed asthma condition was more severe, particularly during summer nights. Some nights I couldn't breathe at all if I lay down and would wake up wheezing and coughing. One night was really bad and even though I sat up in bed , I was unable to draw any breath. I began to panic , I felt terrified that I was about to die. The harder I tried to breathe the the worse it got. A minute or two went by as I struggled for air. I was sweating and my heart was racing - I knew I  was dying. Then, all of a sudden, I wasn't frightened any more, I felt calm and at ease with my own death. My heart slowed down rapidly and my body slumped. I suddenly felt completely relaxed. Then I felt my airway open slightly and I carefully sucked in a breath of air. I survived. I'd become used to being awake all night struggling to breathe and then going to school tired the next day. I never thought to say anything to anyone.

3. The fights 

After the blackout at 7, I became angry with myself, it felt like I had to prove that I wasn't scared any more. And so I went looking for fights with anyone who wanted one. I didn't bully, I just asked if anyone wanted to fight me and took on anyone who agreed to the challenge. I became good at fighting because I was small and fast and by then, had a lot of anger inside me that I could call upon easily. By the time I arrived at secondary school age 11, I must have carried a reputation for being a good fighter. This is the only thing that could explain all the boys who came looking to fight me over the next 5 years. By then I was a quiet boy and I didn't want to fight anymore, and sometimes ran away. But I couldn't get away from the hoards that would gather at the main school entrance waiting to see the fight I knew nothing about. Home time became scary, who would be waiting for me at the gate? I spent most of those years feeling more and more frightened as boys grew bigger and punches became harder. 

4. First-Love Loss

Losing a first love is hard for everyone. I don't know why it hit me the way it did, but it felt like I couldn't function at all. Being awake felt like torture, there was no light, only black days and blacker nights spent curled up into a ball in physical pain sobbing until there were no tears left. I wanted to die. I contemplated suicide many times.I took sleeping pills and threw myself into a nights job. I remember feeling myself change , I can't explain how, I just knew that my brain was changing. I knew that if this happens again to me that I wouldn't recover. 

The first 3 events taught me that when it came down to it, no-one was coming to rescue me and I must fend for myself. And so, I would fiercely protect my independence for the next 40 years. 

The 4th event took me the closest I've ever been to taking my own life. Ever since that I've been unable to trust anyone completely and preferred to believe I wasn't cut out for cohabiting or marriage or any long term relationship. A self defense delusion that very nearly ruined everything. 

The first hypnotherapy sessions in my mid 30s revealed the 'sun stroke' incident at age 7 or 8. I recalled and relived the emotions and feelings of that day. It took me 20 minutes to fully calm down as I sat up on the therapists bench trying to process what had just happened to me. I had completely forgotten about this experience and this was the first time in overv 40 years that I'd remembered and thought about it. Over the next year or so all my social anxiety symptoms and panic attacks faded away. 

I returned to hypnotherapy 15 years later feeling that there was more to uncover. I became aware that I was behaving aggressively in certain situations. I still had a lot of anger inside and I knew there had to be a root cause somewhere in childhood. I had another 10 therapy sessions under regressive hypnosis that helped me to recount, relive and process many of the fight traumas I had at secondary school, some I'd completely forgotten and others that were familiar. 

Today I am one year past the last therapy sessions and feeling a lot calmer and a lot more in control of who I want to be. I still have to fight with my fears and deamons every day, just like everyone does, but now I am strong enough to be in charge of myself, and I've learned to scrutinize all my concious desires and choices to make sure that they are not defensive and self defeating. 

Making the decision to find mental health therapy was a great decision for me.  For years I'd convinced myself that the way I felt and behaved was just something I'd have to learn to live with. 

Looking back at how far I've come makes me wish I'd started therapy many years sooner.