How long can I stubbornly remain single before it starts affecting my wellbeing?
Think back to what made you happy as a 7 year old child. - can those things still make you happy?
I don't mean the toys and material posessions you would have played with, I mean the other intangible things like what you saw, where you went - swimming, fishing, cycling, dancing, running, climbing trees etc. and the things you wondered about - your curiosity for life.
I've had 2 long term relationships (10yr+), one of which was a first love; and 2 or 3 others that lasted anything from a few months to a couple of years. In between those relationships I've been single.
When I think back to the single times, I remember that I was mostly happy and probably more active during those times. To me being more 'active' means being more driven, braver, more adventurous generally and more curious about more things, possible more productive too.
Obviously for some of that 'single' time, I was unhappy or sad because I had recenly separated from a companion - something I think we all want and some need. But mostly I think I prefer myself when I am by myself - more sociable, more curious, more driven.
Today I am single and it is more familiar territory to me than otherwise. I do hope I find a companion one day - I sometimes dream about it - but this hope is more of a fuel than a fire. Fuel is more useful to me than fire.
We were all single as children, we didn't need a wife or husband then. We had parents and friends to keep us company. Why did we change?
I understand that I may never find a partner but the most important thing I suppose, is that I hope I will. I'ts just one of many life dreams I have - but I conclude that these are things that fuel me to live my life in the richest way I can.
Think back to what made you happy as a 7 year old child. - can those things still make you happy?
I don't mean the toys and material posessions you would have played with, I mean the other intangible things like what you saw, where you went - swimming, fishing, cycling, dancing, running, climbing trees etc. and the things you wondered about - your curiosity for life.
I've had 2 long term relationships (10yr+), one of which was a first love; and 2 or 3 others that lasted anything from a few months to a couple of years. In between those relationships I've been single.
When I think back to the single times, I remember that I was mostly happy and probably more active during those times. To me being more 'active' means being more driven, braver, more adventurous generally and more curious about more things, possible more productive too.
Obviously for some of that 'single' time, I was unhappy or sad because I had recenly separated from a companion - something I think we all want and some need. But mostly I think I prefer myself when I am by myself - more sociable, more curious, more driven.
Today I am single and it is more familiar territory to me than otherwise. I do hope I find a companion one day - I sometimes dream about it - but this hope is more of a fuel than a fire. Fuel is more useful to me than fire.
We were all single as children, we didn't need a wife or husband then. We had parents and friends to keep us company. Why did we change?
I understand that I may never find a partner but the most important thing I suppose, is that I hope I will. I'ts just one of many life dreams I have - but I conclude that these are things that fuel me to live my life in the richest way I can.
